rediscovering painting
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Shadows of me
0950 days
So, first, I realized I’m only on my third self-portrait in the series of 5. And I’m not quite sure how to pull together tonight’s painting – I’m going to let it lead me in our subtle dance. I have documented some loose ideas for the other 2 – one’s an old post here and one’s on the nifty voice recorder on my cell phone. Though I’m struggling with one idea. I might pitch it to the bin. The circular file. Yes, the inimitable shitcan. Well, it’s actually a virtual shitcan, but you get the idea.
I was looking at Linda Apple’s bicycle shadow paintings yesterday and my brain did a lightning cross-check of stuff I’ve done, and I had a minor epiphany. Just minor, nothing big. Okay, more like a “duh” moment. I often take pictures of my own shadow. Yes, I’m a dork. So my wife tells me. And she’s probably right. But what just came together was a menage a trois of inspiration (bicycle shadows + my taking pictures of my own shadows + self-portrait series) – series 2, another 5 self-portraits, this time with my shadow lying across various objects, or showing me doing things. I’ve got some tungsten lamps in the garage that will make some nice shadows if the sun doesn’t cooperate.
I can also use this as a platform to get a little more detailed in my paintings. I can burn through 5 of my smaller canvases, toying with detail that way. I can play with contrast, exaggerating colors and values. I can play with various techniques for massing large areas. Hmm, perhaps some additional limited palette exercises.
(as an aside, I accidentally created Burnt Sienna last night from my Payne’s Gray mixture (“colorful black”) and cad red medium – these are things you’ve just got to experience by slapping down some paint on the palette and sloshing it around and asking yourself, “Self, what happens if I do *this*?”)
Eventually, I’ll get to the point where even my bad days are great pieces. For now, though, soldier on and learn, learn, learn by continuing to paint, paint, paint.
Did you ever notice how paintings are somehow disappointing when you get close up? It’s like you expect to see MORE detail when you get closer, but you just see how the artist deftly fooled your eye. I end up feeling a little let down but at the same time I get inspired because I see the mystery unravel before me. And I realize that I can do that, too. And I will. Soon. By exploring some Shadows of Me.
Sometimes I wonder
0955 days
Sometimes I wonder if I’m going down the wrong path with my art. So many great artists do the “traditional” thing. While I use a fairly traditional method, my results are not something that would fit into the nice, neat categories of still life, landscape, or portrait.
Sometimes.
Then there are other times when I question myself, censor myself. For example, I’m an atheist and I see a lot of god-culture crap around me. I see a lot of church-state issues. I see a lot of zealots trying to ignore facts to get their church’s viewpoints made law for all to follow in obeyance.
It’s hard for me to say, “Fuck it” and do what I want to do, say what I want to say. “Oh, better not say that, there might be repercussions,” and “Uh oh, that might piss off so and so,” and, worse yet, “I won’t do that even though I really want to because it might impact my art market.” I don’t even HAVE an art market yet, and I’m worrying about it.
Fuck me.
So I’m going to do this self-portrait series that I started yesterday and sketched out another idea for tonight’s painting (inspired by Hazel Dooney – again) and just be me. It’s called, “And Still I Persist.” It’s all about me. Isn’t it always?
So if I say, “Fuck your god,” then it’s no personal offense to you, really. Just fuck that god that keeps trying to creep into my secular society.
And if I say “fuck” a whole lot, then so fucking be it! It’s my artwork, it’s my world, and I have to live it. Besides, nobody cares, so I’m told. I’m also told that I should ignore everybody. So I’ll selectively take that bit of advice, thank you very much. I’ll just create my art in my own little hole until I’ve got about 20 pieces or so to start to share. Which should be in about a month.
In the mean time, I’ll still have the nagging thoughts. I’ll still censor myself, despite efforts to the contrary. I’ll still wonder. And I’ll still say “fuck” a lot.
Nobody Ever Said It Was Going to be Easy
0957 days
“Nobody Ever Said It Was Going to be Easy,” 11″ x 14″, oil on canvas
I had this idea today that I could so some self-portraits but with a personal twist – close-up and extremely simplified. I might go down to 2 tones, maybe 3. But that’s it. I’m going to outline the face in a dark color and the background may end up just being some flake white (because I want that pasty texture). I’ll use my normal signature brush to do the writing in a bold color. I might invoke the Sienna underpainting with the limited palette of Sienna, Ultramarine, and Titanium White. Except the writing. It’s taking a bit of limelight, so deal.
Back in high school I used to fill sketchbooks with a sort of “chain of thought” or “spoken word,” if you will. The drawings were fragments that meant something to me and then I would simply write the text along the path of the object. It doesn’t matter if the text fits the drawing. Because it will, no matter what. Either directly or in a Nietzsche Family Circus sort of way.
I refined the process over the years but I’ve never, ever shared them.
Well, here goes nothing.
I’m going to aim for several of these in this style. Let’s say, oh, at least 5.
Last night I watched “It Might Get Loud,” a documentary about Jimmy Page, The Edge, and Jack White. Jimmy Page has a lot of screen time (he’s the co-producer) and really spends a lot of time talking about all the questions he had while learning guitar. He practiced and practiced, he experimented and experimented, and also did just regular Joe sorts of things like fill-in studio work.
No, I’m not Jimmy Page. I’m me. And I need to experiment so that my style will reveal itself. Reveal me. Reveal what it is I want to say. Or maybe what I don’t want to say?
That j-o-b thing is annoying
0958 days
I’ve been busy the past several nights making time for friends/family, so I haven’t been able to paint. After about 3-4 weeks of painting consistently, it’s absolutely driving me crazy and my mind is consumed with painting ideas.
Inspiration abounds. I’m jotting ideas down and re-visiting ideas I crafted a while back. Refining. Honing.
But I did manage to set up my first oil painting workshop! Some friends from work, but definitely my “artist’s circle” of friends that can only help. I’m no expert painter (is anyone really, ever?) but I’m a damned good instructor and facilitator and I’m looking forward to it (in 2 weeks). I’ll post some pics from the workshop!
I also just discovered Hazel Dooney, whose work I think is fantastic in its originality and edginess, and that inspires me to be me.
And isn’t that what art is all about?
I can tell you one thing, being a corporate cube drone is NOT all about being me. Patience, perseverance, and painting. That’s what I’m doing now. As my portfolio grows and as my trepidation shrinks, I intend to start making noise.
In the mean time, this j-o-b thing is frustrating the heck out of me.
Recording your ideas
0963 days
I get a lot of ideas throughout the day. The key is to actually record these ideas so I can make them actionable. Which is corporate-talk for “don’t forget to paint a picture, doofus.”
2 ideas today.
One is from Carole Marine. She had a workshop and told her students to paint 1 small item. 10 times. On one canvas. With a time limit of 10 minutes each! I saw some of them and the progress from first to last is impressive. I’d like to try this. Though I’m loathe to paint apples 
Second idea is inspired from an abstract print I have hanging in my living room. I’d like to do an abstract expression of my workday, from snooze (on the alarm clock) to snooze (getting to bed).
I still have 2 more ideas sketched out, the stop sign picture, and the picture of the three kids to do, as well. It’s nice to have a lot of paintings in mind, that way I can work on whatever tickles my fancy on any given day.
I’ve also been giving thought to a series of paintings exploring lots of darks. Perhaps with only a moderately light tone and an intermediate tone. I’ve been thinking of how to apply what I like about Banksy to my own work, and thinking about tone being more important than color.
For the record, I didn’t paint yesterday because I had some painful recovery from some dental work. My jaw was killing me from having it braced open for 2 hours (not to mention 2 hours on the previous day, too) and I drowned out the pain with motrin and a shot of whiskey. Which left me too tired to stay up late painting. I wanted to but just couldn’t will myself over the pain, drugs, and booze to do it.
“I’m Not Chasing You”
0970 days
“I’m Not Chasing You,” 5″ x 7″ on gallery wrap canvas, $100
Lucy’s a nice dog. She has three legs. To compensate, she has massive muscles on her opposite leg. I mean MASSIVE.
Lucy is also very hyperactive. She needs a lot of attention.
This painting of Lucy isn’t really a painting of Lucy at all. You see, I sat down with one of my better canvases, the real kind that’s stretched over a wooden frame, and told Lucy, “No, Lucy, I’m not chasing you. So just sit there and be painted. The paint will fall where it may, and that’s that. I’m going to paint a warm background, and that’s that. I’m going to paint you without an underdrawing, and that’s that. I’m going to paint your pink skin and your blue eyes over a purple wash and that’s that. And I don’t care how you’re going to turn out. And that’s that.”
Lucy is 200 miles away, but I’m sure she heard me and howled into the warm California night. As is her wont. I told her I wasn’t chasing her, I told the painting I was in no mood. And I was true to my word.
I really enjoyed this painting. I had fun painting it. You see, I’m starting to believe. Like Neo, I didn’t believe it at first, but now I’m beginning to believe.
I take pictures. I take pictures that make people ask, “Why did you take a picture of THAT?”
“Because I like it. And it struck my fancy. That’s why.”
And I’m beginning to trust myself to paint. And I’m beginning to see that I can use my pictures as inspiration. I’m beginning to allow a style to form. I’m beginning. I’m becoming.
And that’s that.
Driving traffic: follow up
0The last post about driving traffic didn’t seem to work. I’m getting more hits from people looking for “facial proportions” (and related searches) and info on the Golden Mean.
Which probably means I should either write more about either one or I should start referring people back out to additional information. I’m actually fine with either choice.
The “panties” part of my last post didn’t draw a single person. Hmm. I suppose Google’s getting smarter all the time. And I think that is awesome – because I’m tired of hitting spam sites and I really don’t want you coming here looking for any of those words, either. Lord knows there’s certainly enough of that stuff in other places on the internet.
Moral: don’t play games when it comes to fooling Google. You may win in the short term but content is king in the long run. And that’s a key lesson for anyone online. Also, blog about what your readers are coming for, but to a point. Phi/Golden Mean are really interesting but you can find a billion sites that cover it way better than I’m interesting in doing.
Driving traffic to your site?
0Can you play tricks to drive traffic to your site? I saw a site that extensively used the words “blue panties” to drive traffic. She seemed to believe that it did drive traffic to her site. So what? Does that turn in to marketable traffic? Do those people searching for “blue panties” stick around once they (quickly) realize they’ve been duped?
But it got me thinking: should I dupe some people just to get the Google crowd exposed to my site? Do I have enough content? Would they click on my Adsense ads? I dunno. What I do know is this: white panties, pink panties, black lace panties (thank you, Kiss, for that song, Let’s Put the X in Sex), and panty fetish dominatrix sex in panties stories of fetish unfold. Did that do the trick? Time will tell…