rediscovering painting
Editorials
Digital grunge
0676 days
Digital Grunge, 640px x 400px, digital image created with The Gimp
I fancy myself a Linux aficionado. I also like The Gimp. Lemme set something straight – The Gimp is like Photoshop but doesn’t seek to replace Photoshop.
Lemme set something else straight: I used The Gimp in a graphic design class that required Photoshop. And I got an A in the class and the instructor (and everyone else) was none the wiser.
Now that I got that out of the way, I have to say that about 9 months ago I discovered that The Gimp had brushes, and that was the way to do the best stuff. Forget importing images and tweaking them – brushes have it down pat! So I messed around and my first image was a halloween drink menu for my wife (she’s a private bartender when she’s not in nursing school).
I got a new laptop at work so I had to reinstall my apps… along with The Gimp, obviously… so here’s what I did today after grabbing all the new brushes I wanted.
I’ve been eager to paint again but my time has been consumed with my main job at a Fortune 100 company, with my side job working for my mother-in-law, with my side job as the CIO of a startup with my Navy buddies, and, finally, as a painter. I’m pretty fucking busy, to say the least, but what I really want to do out of all this is to make art. So today was slow at work… and I used the time to do this. Not a total waste of time, mind you, because I use The Gimp all the time to whip out a quick graphic (logo, banner, icon, etc.) at work, so I do need The Gimp up and running well so I’m ready when called on, but the image started as I was playing with my new brushes and sorta blossomed from there. You artist types know what I’m talkin’ about. Dig.
My “studio”
1850 days
I’m moving my studio.
Ha! That’s really funny because I don’t have a studio. I have to drag everything out, unpack, set up, THEN I can start painting. In my kitchen. That’s not so bad. The hard part is breaking it all down when I’m done painting for the night – scraping down and wiping my palette, washing out and drying all my brushes, moving a still-wet painting on the easel to a safer place (kids and a cat and a dog, oh my!).
[sigh]
Garaged
I *tried* the garage, but Sacramento has 2 seasons: freakin’ hot and freakin’ cold and rainy. About 2 weeks between them on either end that are nice, and for about 4 years I managed to paint during those 2 weeks, but it wasn’t easy and quickly got either freakin’ hot or freakin’ cold.
Office-slash-studio
So I’m experimenting with putting my studio in my home office. We have a 3 bedroom house + office (with French doors!). The office is right off the dining room/living room/main entrance to the house and it’s not quiet at all. Hollow French doors and hollow walls don’t really help.
Not to mention that my office is a total mess. Or was. Or, well, half-is. I spent about 3 or 4 hours last night cleaning out my “computer graveyard,” as my wife calls it, and just flat-out tossing stuff. I had gone through the bookshelves (10 shelves quadruple-packed with books, with books on top, too) in the Fall and those are in the garage, in boxes, awaiting a trip to either the used bookstore or the Thrift Store. Or both.
Multipurpose space
The office isn’t a one-trick pony. It’s a workhorse. Now it’ll be even more so!
- Office space for when I work from home one day each week + evenings and some early mornings
- Home office for paying bills, sorting through the bank account, paying taxes, etc.
- Important paperwork storage
- Computer room
- Home studio (music recording on my PC, though haven’t done much of that since I usurped my mixing board for band practice)
- Managing and/all side businesses (there’s been a few, still a couple)
- Book storage
- CD storage
- Music room (guitar, bass, amp)
- Art studio!!!
Did I mention that this is a small, 10′ x 10′ space? I manage to cram a lot of crap into a small space.
It’s all about me, of course
I need a space where I can just go paint. Where I can sneak in and paint when I’ve got a half hour while the kids are watching Dora or otherwise engaged in making each other scream and cry. I need a space where I don’t have to completely build up and tear down every day. I need a space where I can be more productive. I need a space where I can use my computer at the same time that I’m painting.
The only down side is LIGHT. There’s no overhead light in the room and the window is in the sheltered area that is the front entryway, shaded by the garage and the dining room (the sidewalk is between them, the window is way back in the shadows). Ventilation is good, though – I can open the window in the winter and not worry about rain at all because I’ve got at least 5 feet or so of distance from where the rain can reach. I’ll need to see if the light is good enough or if I have to invest in one of those fancy art lights. Or maybe a full-spectrum bulb in a $5 clip-on would work?
I suck. So I did a value study instead.
0852 days
In the process of painting, one comes to realize that it’s just not happening. That canvas is fighting you all the way. It’s taunting you. Calling you names. Dripping hot wax on your nipples and bustin’ out the hot pokers. Then it gets nasty. But we won’t go there.
What matters is that I just couldn’t seem to get anything to work in the painting I was working on today, which I can’t show you until the surprise is sprung. Anyway, I got pics and everything to show just how bad it got. Yes, I documented my shame. And I’m going to share it with you when I can (after Jan 31).
So… I persevered and kept at it and suddenly I realized I’d lost it. Not my mind; I lost that years ago. I lost the painting. It got away from me, a naked child running away and laughing. So I grabbed my palette knife and scraped the whole damned thing down, then rubbed it down with a turpentine-soaked paper towel.
I’ll teach you to run away, you little bastard!
Remember that I preserved the charcoal drawing with fixative, so I was essentially down to a toned canvas with my drawing. Square one, for all intents and purposes. Sigh.
I stood back and decided that I wasn’t going to admit defeat. Not me. Not today. I was going to do a value study. It was the color and the values that were getting the better of me. So I did the value study. And it came out great. But it’s in oil and I want to paint some more tomorrow night… so, um, I don’t know what to do with it now. No way it’ll be dry for about a month. I got a pic of it and I think I may chalk it up to learning and move on. I have another canvas prepped but I decided to go bigger at the last moment.
The reference photo just isn’t working for me. It’s all browns – you can’t see any of the richness of the flesh, the underlying veins or rouge of the cheeks or any vibrancy in the shadows. So I’m struggling to basically paint a portrait in a series of yellows, oranges, and browns. LOTS of browns. And I don’t like it.
I might just throw caution to the wind and make the best of a bad reference photo by going hyper-creative and pushing an extreme coloring of the portrait. Or do something similar to my self-portrait series and go completely random and push my own style. I had wanted to do another really good, realistic portrait but I think I’m going to have to put that on the back burner because I don’t want to do a brown portrait.
Or, and this is an idea, I can tweak the value study with splotches of color here and there. Maybe draw a horizontal band and “colorize” that area. Hmm. That would work. And I’ve been itching to use some of my bench warmer paints. Hmm. I think I just helped myself figure out a solution. Thanks, self!
Working on a secret portrait
1855 days
by shuste73
in Blogging, Creativity, Daily Painting, Editorials, Materials, Process, Techniques, painting
I know it looks like I’m not doing as much here, what with the filling up of the space with crap out how it sucks to have a good painting. I know some people were like, “Yeah, I totally GET that,” while others were all, “Boo fucking hoo, jackass.” Cie la vie.
It remains that it IS hard to follow up. I suspect much of a book I’ve been meaning to get, Art and Fear, is about this very subject. I’ll probably read it and be thinking in my head the whole time, “Yeah, yup, uh huh, totally, exactly, YEAH, that’s me,” on and on. It’s a good ego stroke. And if there’s something I like, it’s to be stroked.
So, anyway, I do have something to say that actually ties in to the title of this post. I’m working on another portrait, but I can’t reveal it. Though the recipient, I guarantee, won’t come here… I suppose I can wait. Thought I don’t like to not have regular posts.
So far, I’ve done my color study in The GIMP (Photoshop-like app for Linux), I’ve done a charcoal drawing, and I went a little further with this one and something I’m trying to see if I can get my on-demand drawing skills back up to where they used to be.
(Back when I was in the Navy and single and bored and living in the barracks, I drew. And drew. And drew! It got to where I could whip out any ‘ol picture and make a really good drawing/likeness – in PEN – in the first pass. Those were the days of drawing for hours each day. Those were days that are looooooong gone.)
Instead of doing the drawing from my computer screen (how do YOU do commissions when all you get is a JPG?), I printed it out on my laser printer. I like to use it because it’s black and white and lets me do my drawing without the distraction of color. Oh, and color laser printers are farking expensive.
So, anyway, I tells Maude, ya see, that Doris told me that Ethel tells her that she overheard Frankie and he said…
Oh, sorry. I like to ramble at times.
I did a charcoal drawing directly on the canvas, trying to match the size of the printout exactly. Then, using tracing paper, I traced the printout and laid it over my charcoal drawing. Hmmm, I was pretty close on most things, but was off on a few key things – one of the eyes, the angle of the nose, and the neck line. But I was pretty close overall, and mostly pleased with myself.
[stops for applause, takes a bow]
Charcoal, in case you don’t know, comes off the canvas in a stiff breeze, unlike graphite (your trusty #2 pencil for you non-artists). I use a paper towel and it wipes right off. So I twisted the paper towel and selectively erased some parts and came back in with the vine charcoal and gave it another go. Then replaced the tracing paper to see how well I did. I got everything but one eye this time. Back at it again and I think I got it nailed.
I think this method keeps me honest in my drawing skills but also lets me quickly troubleshoot problem areas.
And, in all honesty, the first time I came through with the tracing paper I ended up wiping the charcoal off of the ENTIRE CANVAS. Ouch. It was that bad. The next time through, I relied less on measuring and more on just looking, feeling. Use the Force, Luke!
A coat of fixative to secure the charcoal in place and we’re set for a first layer of paint.
After the reveal, I’ll upload the process pics (yes, I have process pics!).
Successful paintings suck
1859 days
Reading Andrew Loomis today. And sketching. Not painting, unfortunately. A funny thing happens to me. I have a successful painting. And it’s the worst thing. You see, what if I can’t follow up with another winner? What if it was a fluke? What if my next painting is total shit?
So to counteract that, I’m doing some drawing basics – copying Loomis drawings using his technique. Not my favorite technique, but a good technique nonetheless. And good to put charcoal to paper again. I’m dating them so I can see the progression (if I do this more than a few days in a row).
But I’m really no good at copying drawings that aren’t real people. I’m flat-out terrible, in fact. I’d love to get the Bargue book – but it’s a cool hundred bucks. Not in the cards for the time being.
So, in the mean time, I’m still here, I’m still drawing, trying to make it every single day, even though that ends up being 10pm or later. If you want it badly enough, you’ll endure. Or you’ll delay by doing anything but what you should be doing because your last painting was successful. And that sucks.
Portrait challenge – prep work
2891 days
I do a lot of prep work digitally for my oil paintings.
Sometimes I just look at them in The GIMP. Sometimes I digitally manipulate them – increase brightness, contrast. Sometimes I blur them so I can see the masses better.
Today, I applied a GIMPressionist filter to simplify the image down to color swatches.
So you get the idea – it breaks down the colors. I also spent about a half hour using the “eyedropper” tool in The GIMP to pull out colors. I’m ALWAYS amazed – “Really, that’s the right color?” I ask myself. Sure enough, if you isolate it, it’s right. But looking at the picture as a whole, you don’t see that. The color swatches you see with this filter actually help quite a bit – you can see what looks like detail but it’s actually very washed out. And I can see that I need a traditional portrait palette, so it helped me decide on:
- Cad Yellow Light
- Yellow Ochre
- Cad Red Medium (not normally on my palette)
- Alizarin Crimson
- Burnt Sienna
- Burnt Umber
- French Ultramarine
- Viridian Green (yes, this is a new color to my palette)
- Ivory Black (okay, I’m mixing this from Ultramarine and Burnt Sienna)
- Titanium White
**NOTE** Some important stuff – no white in her eyes. All greys. Don’t believe what your noggin’ tells ya. There’s actually NO pure white on this whatsoever. Though I’ll probably make the brightest brights from straight-from-the-tube Titanium White. I bumped up the contrast so there’s a wide range of values here. Probably 1-10, though I’ll likely simplify the values and not quite use all 10 of ‘em. Or I’ll wait for the hot whisper in my ear as I’m painting it to tell me what to do. Yeah. That’ll do.
I’d like to do a value study – I’ve already desaturated the image digitally so I can see what’s to be expected. I’ll probably spend a LOT of time getting the landmarks place correctly – pupils, nostrils, corners of mouth. Once those are in, I can fudge the livin’ shit out of it and it’ll still look decent.
Above all, I’m scared that I’ll fuck this up. I don’t know why. I just have high expectations for myself and I end up convincing myself that I’m never going to achieve the vision I have for this piece. But at least I *have* a vision, so that’s something most people never get to.
Portrait challenge
0893 days
I got my image for the DSFDF portrait challenge… er, uh, maybe it’s not a challenge, maybe it’s a portrait swap? Hmm. I’ve had some ideas but I’m not sure which way to go.
I might have to take my advice again – break the toy. I should trademark that shit.
Seriously, though, I’m probably going to have to do a few. I haven’t painted a serious portrait in years. Except my 5 self-portraits, which I still have to finish #5 (my mother-in-law told me to leave it as-is and I’m seriously considering that – talk about knowing when to stop painting!). But those weren’t stuff that I’d do on commission. They were revealing, personal inquiries into myself. They told me stories and slapped me around like a Nancy-boy when I deserved it. They were friends, except when they weren’t. They were trysts in the night. They were harlots and she-devils and succubi come to tempt my flesh.
They won.
But enough about me. Now to grab the charcoal and work up some sketches for the DSFDF challenge/swap/skull basher.
Update: here’s the picture I’m painting. I hesitate to post this because now I’m on the hook for a likeness. Ouch.
Back for a break
0909 days
Sometimes things just don’t quite turn out how you’d like.
I started November completely intending to do the Art Every Day Month thing. Then I got really busy at work as schedules slipped and pressures mounted. None of it my doing, but all of it meaning I had to spend several nights working instead of painting.
Much to my chagrin. And utter annoyance.
Then I came down with a stomach flu last Tuesday that put me down for the count. I’m finally (and skip ahead because a TMI part is next) able to comfortably stay away from a toilet for more than an hour or more. Whatever this thing was, it had me down for 2 full days and my bowels haven’t quite made friends with me again until today. At least, they’re no longer my enemy. So that’s improvement.
However, we decided to head up to my in-laws for Thanksgiving… the week I was planning to use to catch up on paintings sitting around, cluttering my office (which really needs to be cleaned out entirely, which I was also going to do). I’m considering rekajiggering my art bin and seeing if I can manage to sneak up a basic paint set and get at least one small painting done while I’m there.
Saturday is my birthday, dear void, so I’m taking that day off from just about everything except lettin’ the wife “fuss” with me, as she calls it. Maybe she’ll paint my toes, maybe she’ll do breakfeast in bed, maybe we’ll sit around and play Super Mario Wii all day. I don’t care. But it’s gonna be slack.
I’ve got 2 more weeks of work after Thanksgiving and then I’ve got THREE WHOLE WEEKS off from work. It’s going to feel strange. But I’m going to make the most of it. I hope to have enough backlog of work to couple with my newer pieces that I can get a good eBay or Etsy Store (or both, why not?) going to list my paintings for sale. I’m also going to see if I can finagle a cheap HD camcorder (maybe the Mino or the Creative Vado) and make some YouTube videos.
Just exploring to see what works.
(FYI, posts may be sparse until the weekend – the tech possibilities at my in-laws aren’t so hot – they don’t even have wireless - ack!)
Nagelesque
0923 days
Update: here’s the picture:
“Nagelesque,” 9″ x 11″, oil on canvas board, NFS (this baby’s a keeper!)
I finished my “Nagelesque” painting last night. I decided to do some experiementing – I used my typical restricted palette (Cad Yellow Light, Alizarin Crimson, French Ultramarine, Burnt Umber, Titanium White) and I did a quick undercoating with a #10 brush… then decided I didn’t like that so I came back through with a palette knife for the rest of it. Thick, impasto painting.
To do this, I had to mix up a lot of paint to start out with, which is something I don’t normally do. That was good for me. The first time, with the light purple, I didn’t mix up enough and had to mix more, so that sort of forced me to be able to duplicate my results. Which isn’t as easy as it sounds.
I decided to skip the underpainting, which I think was a mistake. I wanted the skin to be whitest white… so I left it unpainted. I wanted to see how that worked. Well, lemme tell ya, with no underpainting, the fine black outlining was tough because it didn’t flow, it stuck on the canvas’ rough texture. I had issues with a consistent line quality and came away a bit frustrated. Lesson learned – do the underpainting.
I didn’t take a picture of the completed piece last night – it was getting late and I was tired, and I’d really like to get some natural light on it because I’m tired of yellow and dark and non-representative images of my paintings. Ugh.
I also prepped another canvas with a more brownish mixture of Payne’s Gray (my own mixture). I’ve got 4 prepped canvases now. Quite honestly, I’m once again at the fear point of “oh, FSM, what if I ruin the drawing and underpainting?” that paralyzes me and makes me procrastinate on doing them at all. I need to remember: Break the Toy (TM).
I want to be an artist.
0935 days
“I want to be an artist.”
Those are the words I said back in 1987, my freshman year of high school, to my guidance counselor. I was 13 years old. He was a dull-looking man with pale skin, well-trimmed beard, short, black hair, and a glass eye. I don’t remember his name but I do remember that glass eye.
I wonder if glass eyes have gotten any better since then?
I was asked what I want to do “when I grow up” as a way of mapping out the classes I should take in high school. I ended up taking a LOT of art classes. I think that sometimes Mrs. Hammerman really disliked me but couldn’t do much about it because I was her little star pupil (much to my chagrin – I didn’t really like the attention, which made it all that much easier for me to push her buttons). In my senior year I had 2 study halls and always managed to get a pass to go paint. I was in Painting II and Directed Study, which was where I painted some more.
I would stand there in my backwards, oversized button-up shirt, Walkman on, and paint.
And, boy, did I love it.
Things went downhill after high school – the military left me bereft of art opportunities and I had built up a nice salary and a corresponding lifestyle by the time I left the military 8 years later.
Then I settled in and put the dream on ice.
Then I started to write out my ramblings and ideas on Facebook last year. As more and more people joined, I got more and more heat about it, and I eventually stopped. Now I’ll still write but I’ll do it on a scrap of paper that will promptly make its way to the recycle bin. My ramblings haven’t stopped, I’ve only stopped sharing them.
However, what I really wanted to untap was the artistic flow that I had stopped up all those years ago. Gone were my lame excuses. It was time. I STILL wanted to be an artist. I still WANT to be an artist. I AM an artist.
So I dove in one September night and painted a picture, Summers End. I was hooked.
It’s been just shy of 2 months and I’ve completed a decent number of paintings.
I work at a Fortune 500 company. I can’t say I hate it, because I don’t, but it’s mostly dull but mostly pays the bills. I’ve been coming to a slow realization as I read Ayn Rand’s “Capitalism: the Unknown Ideal” and reading Seth Godin and catching up to successful artists on Twitter that I’m a wage slave. I can’t quit my job. I can’t stop working today. I’m a slave to it. And a deep, dark loathing bubbles up inside of me to even type out those words. This isn’t who I was supposed to be.
So what should I do?
I should be who I’m supposed to be. It seems pretty obvious, but, like all things that seem easy and obvious, it’s all-at-once difficult and simple. It’s its own paradox.
I will break out and continue with my themes. I will capture the fleeting thoughts and ideas on my blog, on scraps of paper (that I’ll keep instead of making them grist for the 80% post-consumer waste mill), and on the voice recorder in my cell phone. I will continue to draw, the watch inspirational art movies (I just watched “Helvetica” and I could really relate to the guy that said “bad taste is ubiquitous”), I will continue to PUSH myself.
Sometimes I have an idea and I’m afraid I can’t reach that one quite yet. Sometimes I paint total crap and share it, anyway. Sometimes I see myself through perspective of dissociation, sometimes I sketch it. I have some ideas that I pursue and they become impractical. I have some feelings I forget before the shower is over. I have drawings in canvas where I’ve lost the muse; I have others where I’m afraid to destroy the drawing with paint.
Above all these things, though, I have a goal: I want to be an artist.